Santa’s Sack of (Sex) Toys- The Nice List

Awesome gifts for not-so silent nights

I love this time of year! Twinkly lights, crackling fires, everything smells like cinnamon- so much awesomeness. What I don’t love are all those commercials showing (always male/female, usually white) couples exchanging jewelry and cars. There are so many things wrong with these ads from the blatant classicism to the enforced gender stereotypes to the tacky jewelry. But the problem I’m here to address is the fact that those are boring gifts! Personally, I think there should be more gifting of orgasms – imagine that commercial. So, I’ve put together this list of way more fun gifts! Here are some bedroom (or living room, kitchen, secluded wooded area- whatever) accessories that are sure to inspire your partner to fall on their knees (I swear I’m almost out of xmas carol sex puns) Full disclosure, some of this may be my personal wish list:



Rechargeable and designed for simultaneous clitoral and g-spot stimulation. I haven’t test-driven this one but my sources tell me it’s quite potent.

UPDATE: Several years and a lot of toy knowledge later,  I must admit that excitement over this one was… misplaced.



Please Gel Lubricant

When in doubt MORE LUBE. This is a relative of the love of my lube life Please Cream Lubricant. Its gel consistency makes it terrific for anal play




Aneros MGX Prostate Massager

Aneros products are medically researched (seriously, they started out as a doctor-recommended treatment for prostate problems) and anatomically designed to (get this!) stimulate the prostate and the perineum without the use of the hands- how freakin’ cool is that?!

Pro Tip: Every body loves a theme! Pre-Order Charlie Glickman’s The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners now- !t comes out just in time for Valentine’s Day!


Jimmyjane Afterglow Massage Candle
Glowing candle, sexy massaging, yummy smells…and to all a good night.




Pure Wand Metal Dildo

Okay, the aesthetics freak in me just goes “pretty! pretty!” The former techie in me goes “stainless steel is so badass” and the sex geek in me goes “remember (friend whose name I’m not using) who referred to this as the thing that “flipped the switch” taking her from pre-orgasmic to crazy-orgasmic. As all of those people are in me, you should just listen to me- it’s awesome.


So, this is the “For the Nice” list because this is some good stuff.  However, in my internet travels I found some really funny  (and silly) xmas themed sex toys, some of which veer into the “WTF?” territory.  “The Naughty List” is forthcoming- stay tuned!

Anybody have a really awesome sexy gift they’re giving this year? Tell me about it!

I’ll leave you with a sexy holiday classic:

Eartha Kitt – Santa Baby

Get my book The Monster Under The Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations we Aren't Having!

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