My V-Day Sexy Time Picks

I’m not going to lie to you folks, Valentine’s Day has never been my favorite and now that I’ve been in the sex writing game for longer than I was in college I may be especially cynical about the whole thing. This is about the time when mainstream outlets run “sexy gift idea” lists of toys that include things that have been universally panned (stop trying to make the Ora happen, it’s never going to happen), announce “new, exciting” toys that have been around nearly as long as I have (I saw one the other day “introducing” the Crave Vesper. You know, the crowd-funding hit of 2014 that has been everywhere for about 2 years now.), or have clearly been paid for by manufacturers (I refuse to believe anyone really thinks jelly anal beads look like a good time). It’s hard not to get cynical. So, what gets someone who writes about sex for a living excited this time of year? Well, honestly, the same stuff I always love! But, as I know a lot of you are out there hunting for ideas, let’s take another look at it. Here’s what I’m excited to use this Valentine’s Day:

Lube

LUBE MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER. I will never stop pointing this out. A lot of people get hung up on whether or not they “need” lube as if needing it is a sexual failure but, seriously, there are so many reasons lube might be necessary, from medication side effects to room temperature (seriously, for me air conditioned room = more lube than usual) and even if it’s not “necessary”, it just makes stuff feel awesome. This is my current lube fleet (yes, I keep a fleet of lubes on hand):

img_1704Oil Based – The Butters Lubricant

Featured in “JoEllen’s 2016 Favorite Things

Get it here:

The Butters – Use code JOELLEN to save 5%!

 

365

Water Based- Sliquid Organics Natural Gel Lubricant

My Review

Get it here:
SheVibeShe Bop, LovehoneyPeepshow Toys

 

prod-org-silkHybrid- Sliquid Organics Silk

My Review

Get it here:
SheVibe, Early to BedLovehoneyPeepshow Toys

 

Uberlube Lubricant

Silicone- Uberlube Silicone Lubricant

Featured in: “Lube In My Hair: Sex Geek Life-Hacks

Get it here:
Good Vibrations, SheVibe, Early to Bed, She BopLucky Bloke

 

Wands

When it comes to vibrators, I’m all about wands. Generally I like to have several on hand at all times- a big powerful one and a smaller waterproof one, you know, because the shower. Here’s what’s likely to play a role in my Valentine’s festivities

img_1543Doxy Die Cast Colors

Featured in “JoEllen’s 2016 Favorite Things

Get it here:
SheVibePeepshow Toys

 

pimages_A_ELD_CNVELD_JI12234_1__11944.1436316582.1280.1280Jimmyjane Iconic Wand

My (mini) Review

DISCONTINUED

 

Swan Wand
edc3479139a218eaa7a10e97ed795ad4

My Review

Get it here:

SheVibe, Early to Bed, LovehoneyPeepshow Toys

 

46bcd117ac4ea99f9e756b20194aee48Vibratex Magic Wand Rechargeable

My Review

Good VibrationsSheVibe, Early to BedPeepshow Toys, Tantus

 

mysticrechargeable260x300-2Vibratex Mystic Rechargeable Wand

Featured in “JoEllen’s 2016 Favorite Things

Get it here:
Peepshow Toys

 

 

Electrostimulation

This past year I’ve gotten really into e-stim – it’s just fun and makes me giggle a lot! Here’s the wand I use and the accessories I’ve been super into. Note: even if electricity isn’t your thing, I recommend Twisted Monk as a source for rope, they are awesome!

1-10-2012-11-7-neonwand

KinkLab Neon Wand Electrosex Kit

My (mini) Review

Get it here:
SheVibe, Early to Bed

 

417EBLcNZ5L._SY355_

Kinklab Power Tripper

My (mini) Review

Get it here:
SheVibe

 

img_1762HammerFell Armoury Polished Stainless Steel Claw

Featured in “JoEllen’s 2016 Favorite Things

DISCONTINUED

 

electro_with_accessories
Twisted Monk Electro-Conductive Rope

Featured in “JoEllen’s 2016 Favorite Things

Twisted Monk

 

 

Impact Play

I don’t know about you, but for me there’s nothing quite like a good spanking. These days I have four favorite spanking implements. I love this collection because there’s an assortment of textures, different levels of bite (as it were) and two different dildo handles (you know, just in case!).

ff_bueckdich_redFun Factory Bück Dich

Featured in “JoEllen’s 2016 Favorite Things

DISCONTINUED

 

1-8-EL-1111Naughty & Nice Plush Paddle

Get it here:
The original has been discontinued but here’s a reasonable substitute

 

 

 SwoonKink Cashmere Flogger

Featured in “Cool Stuff From the Cool Shops! aka So Many Dildos So Little Time

Get it here:
Etsy

 

 

plunge-paddleTantus Plunge Silicone Paddle

My Review

Get it here:
TantusSheVibe, Early to BedPeepshow Toys

 

Liberator Furniture

As someone with a cranky back, I really love sex furniture for the support it offers but also, it just opens up a whole world of fun sexual possibilities. I won’t go into detail here but if you want ideas, check out Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life by Elle Chase – Liberator pillows come up a lot in the book.

ramp-blackLiberator Ramp Sex Pillow

My Review

Get it here:
Good VibrationsSheVibePeepshow Toys

 

wedge-blackLiberator Wedge

My Review

Get it here:
SheVibePeepshow Toys

 

Sex Machine

I tend to think of these kinds of machines as more of a play party thing than a one on one thing but I’ve also never had my own so that might change this year. I’ve tested my Motorbunny a bit on my own but I’m really excited to try it and its attachments (especially the silicone ones!) out with my partner.

motorbunny (2)Motorbunny

Get it here:
Motorbunny

 

 

Sexy Painting

So, I’ve already made one of these and, frankly, my new apartment doesn’t have wall space for another…but I still kind of want to make another one. They are so much fun and there are different color options and stuff. Anyway, I highly recommend Love is Art.

 Love is Art Kit

My Review

Get it here:
Peepshow Toys

 

So, there you have it, some stuff that this slightly cynical sex writer is excited about this Valentine’s Day. Now I’ll tell you the truth, I’ve been sick for a week and a half and there’s a good chance that I won’t make it up to my partner’s place and will instead spend V-day alone watching Bob’s Burgers. That said, I still vouch for all of these things and hope that whatever you are doing you have a great time doing it. On that note, let’s bring it all home with a couple of times things I love came together resulting in vibrators on Bob’s Burgers!

 

Get my book The Monster Under The Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations we Aren't Having!

Source link

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

MENU