Strange Love: Falling for the Gvibe3

I knew the Gvibe3 (also known as the Gvibe³ or G vibe3 depending on which sentence you read from the company’s very confusing marketing copy) was special from the moment I laid eyes upon it through my web browser; its baby pink hue and fancy handle drew me in visually while the weird two-tongued design sparked my intrigue. What was this strange little toy, and could it make my fickle vagina happy? I had to find out.

Based on looks alone, I imagine the Gvibe3 would be Barbie’s go-to vibrator if Mattel had bothered to give her genitals rather than a creepily smooth bikini area. The cotton candy coloring is adorably feminine, while lux gold detailing keeps it from feeling too childlike. Topped (or bottomed) with a seductively curved handle, this is easily the prettiest toy in my bedside table’s sex drawer. 

Even without stimulating my naughty bits, I found the Gvibe3 enticing to touch. Its velvety smooth texture makes it the type of object you idly caress while watching TV for the simple pleasure of its sensation on your skin until you snap out your trance and realize you’ve been using a vibrator as a fidget toy for the last hour and you feel like your cat is starting to judge you. That last part might just be me, though.

I had planned on dedicating a few hours to my Gvibe3 virginity loss to make it special, but you know what they said about best-laid plans. The first time I used the Gvibe3, I was stressed and desperate, so I grabbed the closest vibrator with a charge, and low and behold, it was the pink, two-headed friend I now know and love. My preferred way to come is with a bullet vibrator, especially when I’m feeling lazy, which is always, so I said “fuck off” to what I thought the Gvibe3 was supposed to be and fucked myself exactly how I wanted to. What can I say; my vulva and I are rebels.  

This toy is definitely not bullet-sized, and it ain’t bullet-shaped, either (though the shape of bullet vibes can vary greatly, FYI), but I found it got the job done better than most actual bullets I’ve tried. The wings’ shape allowed me to target the vibrations exactly where I wanted them and choose the size of the surface area coverage based on whether I used just the tip or the flat side of the vibrator. 

And just like that, I was hooked. But I wanted to do my diligence in this review, so I took a stab at a few of Gvibe’s illustrated position suggestions:

Gvibe3 being used for clitoral stimulation

As someone who’s All. About. The. Clit., I figured this position would make me giddy, and I wasn’t wrong. I had to place the base of the slit lower down than shown in the picture to really get stimulation, but once I did? Wow. Though I am admittedly clit obsessed, direct stimulation is often too intense (or just doesn’t get the job done) for me. When jerking off sans-vibrator, I have to rub myself through my underwear for a barrier, and tbh I’m tired of having to buy new panties due to friction holes, and at this point, it’s getting a little expensive, OKAY?! But I digress… The Gvibe3 was able to vibrate the entire surface around my clitoris without uncomfortable direct stimulation. Sensitive clits don’t get much love in sex toy designs IMO so this is kinda a game-changer in the vulva world.

G-spot vibrator fully inserted into a vagina

Full insertion of the Gvibe3 isn’t as intimidating as it looks, which is a big relief because I was pretty intimidated at the thought of it. Since the prongs are so flexible, you can just hold them together when placing them inside you, and it goes in just as your standard sex toy would. The ergonomic handle made thrusting the vibrator super easy so I could take myself to Pound Town without any trouble or wrist cramps. I’m not really sure if the two-pronged design did anything for my posterior vaginal wall, but it hit my G-spot like a pro, so I didn’t really care.

Gvibe3 vibrator providing both internal and external stimulation for a woman

I had to really play around with this one to get in the groove. When the lower lip is inserted fully, it’s girth is pretty disappointing after you’ve experienced the two-in one hole position. It wasn’t nearly as thick as I wanted it to be at the height of my arousal, but that’s the price you pay for flexibility in other areas. However, when I let the lower lip rest just inside the bottom of my opening, the curve provided an interesting stretch when pushing against it. Definitely not the same feeling as the full-on stretch you’d get from a dildo being totally inside you but satisfying in its own way and it was a fun new sensation that I’ve never tried before. That just-right position was difficult to maintain, though, as my wetness caused the lower lip to slip a few times. Overall 3-star experience for this particular position. 

But enough detailed descriptions of me touching myself. I found this toy impressive in more than just the many orgasms it delivered:

Four-Hour Battery Life

Yaaaaaas! This is the vibrator feature I’ve been missing my whole life. As a marathon masturbator and frequent procrastibator, I’ve been known to rack up quite the lengthy time log when touching myself (I’m into edging, so sue me). A four-hour battery life means I’m free to play with myself to my heart’s content. 

Easy-to-Handle Handle

Not only does the ergonomic design make the Gvibe3 easy to grasp and hold onto during play sessions, but the strategic placement of the setting buttons prevents accidental mode switches (or worse, an accidental ‘off’ switch) that happens so frequently with poorly designed vibrator handles. 

Magnetic Charger

Buh bye, batteries! There’s nothing worse than a toy dying mid-masturbation only for you to realize you’re out of batteries. Problem solved (unless you want to masturbate for more than four hours, in which case you should just seek help). Plus, I’m sick of giving my money to Jeff Bezos cause I’m too lazy to pick up more batteries from a physical store. 

Here are some features that I personally don’t give a fuck about but probably matter to the average sex toy user:

10000% Waterproof (though they claim it’s only 100)

No, I don’t mean it’s just rinseable; I mean waterPROOF. Like you could use it in the bathtub or gift it to a horny mermaid, and it would work perfectly fine underwater. 

Humiliation-Resistant Travel Lock

Are you the type that goes places and does things? Sounds exhausting, but if you are, then you could totally bring the Gvibe3 in your carry-on without alerting the whole airport that you’re bringing your sex toy on vacation (unless your TSA agent presses and holds the plus button for two seconds). 

Six Vibration Patterns

There’s no way your genitals will get bored with the Gvibe3. This bad boy (girl? they/them?) boasts six vibration patterns to play with. What’s really cool is the setting which has vibrations switch off from one prong to the other.

One of my favorite things about this sex toy is that it’s totally inclusive in its design. No matter what you’ve got going on below the belt, the Gvibe3 can tickle your fancy. The vibrator’s tips are curved to hit the G or P-spot with one end while the other prong stimulates a different hot spot of the masturbator’s choosing or even the same hole for delicious double-stuffed fun you can’t find in a cookie aisle.

And it’s not just solo sex where the Gvibe3 shines (though I sadly can’t speak from experience yet- call me if you’re hot and DTF). This diverse pleasure provider is also down for threesomes! From spicing up foreplay to lending a helping hand during the main event, the Gvibe3 has more position possibilities than I do unnecessary comments in parentheses (so, a lot).

Jokes aside, it’s rare to find a vibrator (or any product, really) that works for everyone. The concept of sexual satisfaction for all is one I’m passionate about, so the fact that the Gvibe3 can be used by anyone regardless of their genitals or relationship status makes me love it even more. 

But what I love most of all, because I’m selfish, is what it does for me. From now on, if you need me, just assume I’m too busy jerking it with the GVibe3.

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