Remember when foot fetishes were considered off the cuff? Oh, to be young and naive. There’s a whole world of weirdly specific kinks out there that put footjobs to shame. After all, you can at least act on a foot fetish while some other kinks are so surreal they can only take place in your mind (or on DeviantArt — Google “DeviantArt fetish porn” ONLY if you have a few hours to kill).
The older I get and the deeper I dive on the internet, the more I realize that I’ll never be the kink encyclopedia I’ve always dreamed of becoming (don’t judge me, we all have different goals in life). There’s just far too much out there to keep up with, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try! Being the generous woman I am, I’m willing to bring you along in my journey to further your fetish knowledge.
You may know someone who refuses to date anyone under a certain height. Macrophilia is sort of like that but on steroids. Macrophiliacs get hot and bothered by the idea of extreme height differences, with their partners being crazy tall and them being super small. And when I say crazy tall, I don’t mean in an NBA player way. Macrophilia is highly fantastical, with height differences between partners going beyond what the human body is capable of. For some, this means fucking a literal giant, while others may get their rocks off at the thought of shrinking down to the size of an ant while their lover remains the size of an average human.
Sex isn’t always the star of the show, though. Being dominated by a giant or giantess can take the form of getting stepped on, eaten, or other activities in which the macrophiliac is vulnerable. For macrophiliacs, “Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman” isn’t a comedy; it’s a porno.
The phrase “you look good enough to eat” takes on a whole new meaning when you talk to a vorarephiliac. Vorapholia, or what’s commonly referred to as “vore” by those who jerk off to it, is the sexual desire to be eaten alive or to do the eating. While your mind may jump to cannibalism, this kink is more “Jonah and the Whale” than “Silence of the Lambs.” There are tons of ways to be eaten alive (who knew?), but a frequent theme is being swallowed whole, typically bringing macrophilia into the mix. If you’re more horrified than horny at the thought of becoming a meal, you might want to run the other way the next time someone affectionately tells you they could “just gobble you up.”
Have you ever seen “Legally Blonde”? Bimboification is kinda like the opposite of that. For those who aren’t obsessed with Reese Witherspoon (weird, but whatever), I’ll break it down a bit further: bimboification is when someone transforms into an airheaded, hypersexual being, i.e., a “bimbo” or “himbo,” or maybe a “thembo” if you’re nonbinary. Bimbos are all sex, no substance, so physical appearance is key in the bimboification process. Exaggerated features generally associated with sexuality come with the territory, like growing gigantic hooters or shooting up in height with new lengthy stems. Some people are so committed to bimboification that they undergo plastic surgery, using augmentations such as breast implants and lip fillers to get that “blow-up doll” look. Hey, it worked for Anna Nicole Smith!
Have you ever been thrown a surprise party and got excited to see a room decorated with colorful balloons in your honor? If that excitement was sexual in nature, congrats, you’re a looner! Looners are balloon fetishists, a group of people who use balloons for far more than celebration and get off on the sight and touch of these party staples.
There’s a surprising amount of ways to play and preferences when it comes to banging balloons. Erotic balloon play can be as simple as blowing up a balloon or rubbing it on the body and as intense as stepping inside a ginormous, human-sized one. Some looners pop ‘em while others insist they remain inflated, and some people even use them as sex positioning pillows. Obviously, your standard Party City balloon won’t support this kinky activity, so looners turn to companies that specialize in making more durable balloons in a wide variety of shapes and sizes.
Though most prefer their latex worn on the human body when it comes to sex, looners find the material erotic all on its own (with some oxygen in the mix). No judgment here; it’s their party, and they can fuck a balloon if they want to.
Though it may sound like a very specific monster fetish (and yes, those do exist), mummification has nothing to do with scary movies; the kink is actually an intense form of BDSM play where the sub has their entire body restricted in some form of wrap such as bondage tape or saran wrap. The result of this crazy human cocoon is total immobilization, letting participants take power play to the highest level. Like many other BDSM activities, the idea of being (or making someone else) helpless is what makes mummification arousing. And while it may sound like a nightmare to those with claustrophobia, many “mummies” get off on the feeling of being in a confined space (even if that space is technically a material). King Tut is probably rolling over in his grave (err, sarcophagus) at the thought.
The strange world of sex is so ideologically diverse that you can easily find a group of peers that get off on the exact thing you do, no matter how out-there it seems to the general public. If it exists, someone has jerked off to it, which is a beautifully unifying concept if you think about it. So remember: whatever it is you nut to, you’re not alone.