Episode 68: What Do Singles Today Really Want?

January 7, 2022 by Justin Lehmiller

Sex and Psychology Podcast

Episode 68: What Do Singles Today Really Want?


Before the pandemic hit, the number of American adults living single was at a record high, while the marriage rate was at a record low. But that might all be about to change, according to results from the 11th annual Singles in America Survey from Match. This survey involved a demographically representative sample of 5,000 single adults aged 18-98, and the findings suggest that singles today are thinking very differently about sex, love, and relationships.

To break down the results, I spoke with Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, Senior Research Fellow at the Kinsey Institute, and Chief Scientific Advisor at Match. She has conducted extensive research and written six books on the evolution and future of sex, love, and marriage. We cover a lot of ground in this episode, including:

  • What singles today find attractive in a partner (hint: looks are out, emotional maturity is in).
  • Why singles today are open to dating a wider range of partners than they were in the past.
  • How online dating changed during the pandemic.
  • Tips for creating more chemistry on virtual dates.
  • Why singles today are sending fewer dick pics than they were before the pandemic.
  • Why men are more eager to start long-term relationships right now than women.
  • Whether the “three-date rule” is really a thing.

To learn more about Dr. Fisher, visit helenfisher.com and check out her latest book, Anatomy of Love.

Learn more about the latest Singles in America Survey at singlesinamerica.com

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Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for sponsoring this episode!


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Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

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Dr. Justin Lehmiller

Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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