XXXploring Options: The Benefits of Yes/No/Maybe Lists [+Free Download!]

Scroll to the end of the blog to download our Yes/No/Maybe sex checklists!

There comes a time in almost every monogamous relationship when a couple decides they want to spice up their sex life. For some, it’s after years of marriage when things in the bedroom have started to lose their spark. For others, it may be only a few weeks in when a pair realizes they want to turn up the heat and incorporate wilder acts into their fuck repertoire. The point I’m trying to make is that all couples are different, and the desire to explore new sexual terrain isn’t necessarily a sign that something is lacking in your sex life; it’s just a sign that you and your boo are cool enough to realize there’s a lot more out there and that you’d like a taste of it!

Concluding you want to try out new fuck tricks is pretty straightforward (assuming you and your partner have good communication skills), but determining what to add to your erotic menu and where to start is often less so. Enter the Yes/No/Maybe list.

What is a Yes/No/Maybe List?

Put simply, a Yes/No/Maybe list is a list of sexual activities that partners fill out separately, marking their interest in the acts with either “Yes,” “No,” or “Maybe.” Once completed, the pair then looks at their lists together to suss out where their shared interests lie. It’s a conversation starter, dirty dream maker, and a to-do list all in one. 

For couples who want to get the ball rolling on exploring fantasies but don’t have a specific fantasy they want to start with, sex checklists can be invaluable. Not only do Yes/No/Maybe lists inspire carnal creativity, but they also create a pathway for open and honest communication regarding desire. Plus, they’re hella fun to fill out!

How to Use Sex Checklists

If you checked “Yes” to using a Yes/No/Maybe list, you’re now left with two options for moving forward, both of which have their own benefits.

Option A: Create Your Own List

The advantages of making your list from scratch are that you can ensure specific fantasies you know you’re down for are included. It’s also just a generally fun and filthy brainstorming activity. To start, grab your partner and your computer and start typing out (in bulleted form) any and every sex act the two of you can think of. Make sure not to remark on them at this time, though; not only does that negate the point of the list, but negative comments surrounding particular acts could prevent you or your boo from feeling comfortable in admitting to your true desires. Sex checklists should be an activity of exploration, not judgment. 

Once you’ve got everything under the sun down on your dirty deeds list, print out two copies and grab some highlighters—you’ll need three different highlighter colors (and two of each color)  to differentiate your Yes’s, No’s, and Maybe’s.

Option B: Use a Premade List

The largest pro of using a premade Yes/No/Maybe list is that it may contain sex acts you and your partner wouldn’t have thought to include on your own but might want to explore once they’re on your radar. Another perk is that premade lists are far less effort to put into action than crafting one yourself; simply print out two copies and get to checking boxes!

[P.S. We’ve included two Yes/No/Maybe lists to get you started at the end of this blog!]

Regardless of whether your checklists are homemade or premade, you’ll want to go into separate rooms or areas to fill them out. Being physically apart will take the pressure off couples to finish at the same time so that both parties can think over the acts at their own pace. Once you’ve both completed your checklists, get back together and compare your answers!

When you’re finished, you’ll have a new erotic bucket list (mutual Yes’s), clear boundaries and limits (anything on either partner’s No list), and a catalog of raunchy “debate” topics (Maybe’s) to mull over together!  

It’s important that you don’t view the results as a be-all-end-all for your shared sex life but instead a starting point for new experiences. After all, minds do change over time, and you may eventually find certain acts moving from one column to another. Feel free to reevaluate your lists as you see fit to start the fun all over again!

Printable Yes/No/Maybe Lists

Pick a checklist flavor from our Yes/No/Maybe lists or print them both out for an even more extensive activity!

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