Episode 126: Why Women Lose Desire For Sex Faster Than Men

September 9, 2022 by Justin Lehmiller

Sex and Psychology Podcast

Episode 126: Why Women Lose Desire For Sex Faster Than Men


Many sex therapists have argued that women’s sexual desire is relational, meaning that as long as a woman is in a good relationship and she’s connected with her partner, interest in sex should naturally follow. But that doesn’t match up with reality. A lot of women with low sexual desire say that their relationships are otherwise perfect. Why is that? It turns out that the things that make for a very satisfying relationship are sometimes at odds with the things that turn us on. So is it even possible to “have it all” in a relationship? Let’s talk about it!

My guest today is Dr. Marta Meana, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas.  She is also an Associate Editor at the Journal of Sex Research and the author of numerous academic publications on women’s sexual desire. Some of the topics we discuss include:

  • Diversity in how sexual desire is experienced.
  • Why long-term monogamy is hard on sexual desire for everyone, but especially for women.
  • How problems with low sexual desire are generally treated.
  • Why “wanting to be wanted” is at the core of women’s sexual desire.
  • Whether it’s possible to maintain both intense intimacy and intense passion at the same time.
  • Why women are more likely than men to see themselves as the object of desire in their fantasies.
  • How having more erotic self-focus can benefit women’s (and their partners’) sex lives.
  • The psychology behind women’s forced sex fantasies.

Thanks to FirmTech (myfirmtech.com) for sponsoring this episode!

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

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Written by

Dr. Justin Lehmiller

Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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