Episode 132: Ethical Flirting and Seduction

September 30, 2022 by Justin Lehmiller

Sex and Psychology Podcast

Episode 132: Ethical Flirting and Seduction


Flirting and seduction can be tricky business. For example, when you want to let someone else know you’re interested, what do you even say? And how can you tell when someone is just being polite and friendly vs. actually flirting with you? Let’s talk about it! Today’s episode will tell you what you need to know about leveling-up your flirting game (in a non-sleazy way!), how read other people’s flirting cues, how to deal with rejection, and more.

I am joined by Dr. Alison Ash, a trauma-informed intimacy coach and educator, Stanford University Lecturer, author, and founder of TurnON.love. Some of the topics we discuss include:

  • Tips for ethical flirting.
  • The fine line between expressing attraction and desire for someone vs. manipulation.
  • How you can tell whether another person is really into you and isn’t just being nice–and how this is different when you’re flirting online vs. in person.
  • How to build up your confidence so that you’re not second-guessing yourself when you flirt.
  • How to de-escalate when someone flirts with you and you’re not into it.
  • How to cope with rejection in the dating marketplace.

To learn more about Dr. Aly, visit TurnON.love and follow @TurnON.love on Instagram. For information on Dr. Aly’s upcoming Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills Mastercourse starting in January 2023, visit TurnON.love/intimacy

Thanks to FirmTech (myfirmtech.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for sponsoring this episode!

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

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Written by

Dr. Justin Lehmiller

Founder & Owner of Sex and Psychology

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.

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